Recently, I was interviewed for a video series on tips for parents of teens. I think anyone can benefit from these though. Check out the video:
These days, all of us are communicating in various ways, all the time, with many different people. It may be face to face, on the phone, via email or text, or through social media.
When you feel negatively affected by what someone communicates to you, your emotions come to the forefront to protect you. As a side effect, your response may be less skillful and affect the other person negatively. This can lead to an escalation and prolong the negative feelings cycle.
Below is an acronym that can be useful to practice whenever you are communicating with anyone, via any medium. It can help you be more kind, clear, considerate and respectful in your message. It is often helpful to pause, take a breath and check in with yourself prior to your actions.
Before you speak, text, type and/or post, consider:
T. Is what you’re communicating true? Are you stating a fact or more your opinion or feeling about something? Check in with yourself and be clear.
H. Is what you’re communicating helpful? Are you helping the other person, yourself or the situation?
I. Is what you’re communicating important? How important is it and to whom? Is this something that can wait?
N. Is it necessary? Check out whether whatever you want to communicate is better left unsaid, or maybe you could benefit from giving yourself some space before you communicate this thing.
K. Is it kind? Check in about why you’re communicating. What’s your intention and purpose for this communication at this time? Will it be of benefit to you, the other person, the relationship? Is what you’re about to say skillful, respectful and thoughtful?
T.H.I.N.K. is based on a concept originally presented in the 1930s by Herbert J. Taylor