There is a lot going on every day. Attention is often fragmented and there is a lot to track and take care of. It's important to take care of yourself in the midst of all that's happening in your life and the greater world. I don't mean in a massage/day spa sort of idea of self-care. This is not indulgence. This is essential. These foundational aspects of self-care are crucial for well-being. They include sleep, nutrition, movement, and contemplation.

Over the next weeks, I'll write more about each one of them. 
​
For the time being, whenever you feel "off," I invite you to check in with yourself about your sleep habits/quality of sleep, nutrition patterns, movement/exercise habits, and contemplation time (meditation, yoga, prayer, relaxation practices).  

You're always aligned with something. Each choice you make brings you closer to or further away from your authentic self. The way you speak, how you spend your time, where you spend your money - each is a vote for something. A helpful piece in greater self-awareness around this is to investigate what you personal values are. These are not ideals to live up to. Rather, personal values are already within you, a bit below awareness, influencing what you do and how you are. When you bring these into conscious knowing, you can begin to notice when you move toward or away from your values. With this greater awareness, there is greater choice.

Check out a couple of resources below to help you determine what your values are:

https://survey.valuescentre.com/survey.html?id=5l1OmCPgJO400Xkb9ByK_B4E3lIuZOgB0EGag0Ki1CIOvC8MbC5eSA

https://www.cmu.edu/career/documents/my-career-path-activities/values-exercise.pdf

"It’s really hard to be a person. Things happen to you all the time. And really, what keeps us going is kindness. That’s the way life is: terrible things happen, exciting things happen, a lot of things! And how to not get distracted to the point of forgetting what’s important—always—is not to get confused. When we get confused, we forget to be kind. If we’re not confused, we remember to be kind."
- Sylvia Boorstein 

As you go through your day, consider moments when you can practice kindness - toward yourself, your loved ones, your coworkers, neighbors, folks you may encounter in a store and wherever else you may find yourself. It may look like an outward gesture of kindness, like saying "thank you" or making eye contact. It may be more subtle, like pausing and taking a conscious breath. It may be putting a hand on your heart and acknowledging that you're doing the best you can. It may be putting a hand on your heart and acknowledging that we are all doing the best we can.

Whether you’re working from home, it’s likely you’ve increased the amount of time you are spending in front of screens over the last year. It’s work access, social and family connection, political and civic engagement, and entertainment. It’s also very exhausting for the mind and the body.
​
Whenever possible, I invite you to take a short break from looking at a screen. When you do, try one (or more) of these to give your mind and body some rest and restoration:

• Look at something about 20 feet away for about 20 seconds (or longer).
• If your body allows, stand up for 30 seconds.
• If your body allows, stretch your arms over your head and reach for the ceiling. Take a few deep breaths in and out while stretching your arms up. Release and pause. Notice what’s there – mind and body.
• Close the eyes and do some gentle neck rolls, a few times in one direction and a few times in the other. Re-center your neck and notice what’s there – body and mind.
• Gently raise your shoulders toward your ears, hold for a moment or two, and release. Repeat a few times. Pause when you feel ready to and notice your mind and body.
• Gently roll your shoulders forward, up, back and down a few times; then down, back, up and forward. When you’re ready to stop, do so and notice sensations in your body and the state of your mind.
• If your body allows, bend down, and let your arms rest on your quads, knees, shins, toes or the floor. You may choose to bend your knees just a little for less strain. Take some breaths here and hold for about 30 seconds. Slowly rise up; notice your body and mind once you’re fully upright.
• If possible, go outside. Even for a minute. Let yourself see the sky, daylight and the surroundings. Notice and name to yourself what you see.
• If possible, go for a short walk. It may be around the block, maybe just down the street and back. Invite yourself to notice something new or different.
• If it’s not possible to go outside, look out of the window for a bit. Name to yourself what you see around you.
• When you get back to the screen, close your eyes, take three full conscious breaths (know that you’re breathing in and out).

These short breaks can be helpful in resetting the mind, allowing the body to rest and restore. The subtle movements help bring more oxygen and energy through the body. 

Recently, I was interviewed for a video series on tips for parents of teens. I think anyone can benefit from these though.  Check out the video: 

So much of how we operate as human beings is habitual. There are habits of how you get ready in the morning, of your movement, of how and what you eat, of how you spend your free time, etc. You even have habits of thinking! Typically, you operate from these places of habit on autopilot, without much awareness.

Most people try to change their habits at one time or another. It goes something like this for many… At some point, it becomes apparent to you that a habit is not working anymore, or it's not aligned with how you want to live, or it’s getting in the way of you functioning well. You decide to change it. You try to eliminate it, and after a few days or a week, you discover that it’s quite challenging. Maybe you do okay for a day or two and then slip back into that familiar way of being. You feel frustrated and maybe even give up…. If this has been your experience, you’re not alone. It is often the case that when you want to change a habit, there is a sense of urgency, often followed by disappointment and frustration when things don’t go the way you want quickly.

When you set out to change a habit, it may be the case that you’ve taken on too big of a task at once. It can be quite helpful to create small (tiny, even) concrete steps to focus on as you move toward changing a behavior or a habit. Commit to each step for a month, maybe even two, or three. For changes to integrate and be sustainable, the brain and nervous system need a lot of practice and repetition. A lot. Once a step feels like it is integrated and close to autopilot, it may be time to move on to the next step, and so on. Tread lightly and patiently.

While you’re in the process of changing an unwanted habit, challenging feelings will likely come up. It is important to recognize these feelings when they arise and name them. Naming how we feel lessens the intensity of the feeling. You may also choose to take some full, deep breaths and feel your feet on the ground as you practice being with your feelings. Remember to be gentle with yourself. This habit had served a purpose.

Another aspect of habit change that’s important is to choose a wholesome habit to cultivate as you decrease an unwholesome/unwanted one. It’s valuable to add a habit that feels joyful, meaningful or helps you thrive. In the same spirit as changing an unwanted habit, when you choose a wholesome habit to develop, create small, concrete steps to follow. Take one step at a time and be patient.

Changing a habit on your own can feel challenging and overwhelming. I invite you to contact me for support. You don’t have to do this alone. 

Well, this year has been quite a wild one so far. I hope you're taking good care of yourself. 

Due to COVID-19, our lives have changed in many ways. Some of us have circumstances that allow us to work from home, and all of us are encouraged to limit our time outside of our homes this year. I've spent some of my shelter-in-place time reading books and listening to podcasts. 

Here's a partial list of books and podcasts that I've found worthwhile:
​
Books:
The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander
The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully by Frank Ostaseski
Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now by Jaron Lanier 
Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection by Sharon Salzberg

Podcasts:
1619 
Your Undivided Attention
Ear Hustle
Being Well with Dr. Rick Hanson
The Science of Happiness
The Ezra Klein Show

May you continue to take good care and be as well as is possible during this challenging time. 

​